It's that time of the month again, where writers from all around the blogosphere share their insecurities and encourage others in their writing. You can check out the full IWSG list here, and you can also check out the IWSG website here.
I haven't actually been doing any writing over the past few weeks. There, I admitted it. And now I feel horrible.
I knew before summer began that I'd probably take the first week off and just relax and do whatever I wanted to do for once. But now it's halfway through the second week of the holidays, and I've been flicking through my diary this morning, only to discover that I'm actually pretty busy over the next three weeks - which means I'm in danger of my whole holiday going by and not doing any writing whatsoever. And because I now have this fear in my head, I'm even more reluctant to start writing, because I'm already panicking over my lack of time.
I always do this. I know a lot of you will probably be rolling your eyes and thinking, 'what does she have to complain about? She gets a five week summer holiday!!' but here's the thing: if you've been following my blog for a while, you'll probably know by now that I suffer from anxiety. This means I get really worked up over tiny things, and I can spend days obsessing over certain thoughts. It's not pretty. And it's exactly what I'm doing now. I'm obsessing over the fact that my holiday will end 'soon' (because I always do this - whenever I take a holiday, I immediately start counting down the days until it ends, which means I never feel like I fully enjoy my time off...does anyone else do this??), and I'm berating myself for 'wasting' last week when I should've been doing work. So I feel like I'm stuck in-between a rock and a hard place, because I feel crappy for not writing, and I'm worried I won't get anything done, and I'm upset because I feel like I'm wasting my time doing other things when I should've been writing...in a nutshell, I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong. And I really hate feeling this way.
Gosh, that was a bit more of a rant than I meant it to be! I think this afternoon I'll do the baking I was planning on doing (because baking always calms me down when I feel myself getting worked up), then sit down with my current WIP and just see what happens. It's not like I haven't had any ideas over the past week, it's just because I've been trying to relax/been procrastinating ever-so-slightly. So we'll see how it goes...
What do you do when you get yourself worked up about lack of writing? Do you ever get worked up by the little things? What are your fears this month? Thank you for stopping by!